I totally forgive Mitt Romney
He wrote about how he had to “apologize” for “several” of his classmates and himself finding a man in highschool, a Mr. Lauber, and holding him down and cutting his bleached blonde hair off. It wasn’t because of Mr. Lauber’s perceived homosexuality, no! It was just a few highschool “pranks and hijinks” that went too far. And you know how Jesus felt about long hair.
Oh Mitt Romney! Haha you’re so hilarious. I sure would have known how you meant those pranks to be perceived. And who could blame you 40 some years after the incidents where you physically assaulted that Mr. Lauber who was clearly asking for it with his non-conformity? It was clearly just a miscommunication and I’m sure he made certain to conform to the expected norms after that. You helped him socially!
Maybe he used his all-American charm to seduce that young slutty man, like in the bible! Samson and Delilah! Except homoerotic. Oh Mitt, following along in the Bible I see.
So I totally forgive him. He tried his best to help this young man, and now he’s just being torn down for it.
You know what you have to do when it’s all men. That’s just natural. I wonder what other things he did in that all male high school. I wonder what those pillowy lips that now wrap themselves around Conservative dogma once wrapped themselves around when he was surrounded by other young men.
And that comment where he shouted “Atta girll!” at another male student in the all male high school in Detroit? He wasn’t being homophobic. He was being trans* positive! Before his time, even! ^^ What a goooooood citizen.
Mitt Romney, if I wanted to be represented by Asshole-Americans, would be my go-to man! He would surely represent me the fullest. He’d keep my culture and viewpoints in mind and it would be lovely.
Unfortunately… ;; I’m a Liberal and he’s just an asshole who can go fuck off, male or female, for all I care. I’m young still, but I don’t think the horrific things that happened to ME in high school will be off my mind any time soon. Clearly, such was the case for Mr. Lauber. when you’re tossed down stairs like me, or held down and cut like Mr. Lauber, you don’t just forgive and forget.
You might forgive. But if your bully asshole classmates run for political office… You remember. You remember real well.